Thank you Mr. President….

Trust and believe, this will be the first and only time that you will hear me address that fool as “President.” The only reason I decided to use that undeserving title is because I truly want to thank him for a few things. I was thinking the other day about all of the great things that he has done and how he’s contributed more to our society than we give him credit for. I mean…Yes he’s crazy as hell. Yes he’s very temperamental. Yes he has a terrible head-piece. Yes he has swift Twitter fingers that go off 24/7. Yes he doesn’t know how to close an umbrella. Let’s he lets his robot of a wife get soaked in the rain. Yes he’s a terrible pathological liar. And yes he’s like a 5-year-old child. I hate to say that because that’s actually an insult to 5 year olds. And…I could go on. You see all of this talent that he has. Well…I want to go further than solely acknowledging the obvious. You have to give people their flowers while they’re still here. So let me show my thanks and gratitude right now for the wonderful things you have done for this country in just under two years:

• First and foremost…Thank you for destroying this country.
• A huge thank you for giving racist, bigots, homophobes and all other deplorable’s the courage and go ahead to expose themselves for who they truly are and have always been.
• Thank you and your fans for being EVERYTHING, unapologetically that the entire world hates about the United States.
• To big back off of that…Thank you for making the United States the laughing stock of the world.
• Thank you for making our democracy, governing and the office of the presidency a complete and total joke and circus.
• Thank you for exposing how dumb people can be. Showing that it’s easy for people to be brainwashed.
• Thank you for having no shame, and being completely honest and total bias by only governing those select few citizens that you only pander to.
• Thank you for wasting ALL OF OUR tax money on vacations and other bullshit that a president shouldn’t be doing.
• Oh yeah…and to piggy back off of that one…Thank you for NEVER being at The White House and going on tour every other day to host your Klan rally’s. Leaving our country to be led by other’s who have no idea what they’re doing. Getting frustrated and almost getting into fights because you need the attention, approval and admiration of your fans.
• Thank you for proving that you can’t run a country like one of your many failed businesses.
• Thank you for all of the conspiracy theories that have absolutely no validity to them. This definitely keeps us on our entertained and on our toes.
• And lastly…Thank you for showing EVERYONE who’s never seen one up close and personal what an insecure, scared, yet arrogant, small-minded, racist, misogynistic, under-handed, uniformed, uneducated (especially with common sense), and ignorant troll looks like. Thank you for being a great example of this type of creature.