Turning 40…Still under construction
Dog! I’m about to be 40! This year! Grant it…at the end of the year but still…it’s seriously just around the corner. Lord willing I make it! I remember getting ready to turn 20 and excited that it was even more closer to me being 21. Then I remember turning 30 and thinking…okay…30…she’s cute…I can do this! But 40? I’m really trying to cope with that. I trip out how I am currently the age my mom was when I was finishing up my first year of college. I was 19, she was 39. It seemed so old to me LOL! However, our elders weren’t lying when they said time’s about to fly. DAMN!!! It really did!
Turning 39, I’m telling you, something clicked in me. I can’t tell you exactly what it was, but it was definitely something. What I mean by that is this is when I honestly started feeling like an adult. I truly started feeling like an adult. I know y’all are like…really…just now with your old ass? But I did. I finally felt content in my life. I felt this calmness in me that I’ve never felt before. I was finally ready to embrace adulthood and accept that I am getting older. I see what people older than me have been telling me for years. I’ve been told when you reach 40 and older, you don’t give a damn what anyone says or thinks about you. I’ve felt this way for years…but now I get it. Life’s too short! Look at how fast 39 got here. Look at how many people we know that sadly won’t see their 40th birthday. I take nothing for granted. I’m just living and cherrishing every single day that the Lord allows me to be here. I did make goals for myself that I wanted to accomplish before I turned 40. I’m happy to say that I’ve accomplished all of them and a few more. It’s a great feeling!
Goals I’ve accomplished so far:
- Lost over 150 pounds.
- Learned to love myself and put myself first.
- Secured a great job with amzing benefits, opportunities and a for sure retirement.
- Paid off student loans!!! This is probably the biggest accomplishment because I pretty much owed a house. I still don’t know how I did it!
- Started a successful podcast.
- Started taking my writing more serious by starting a book.
- Got rid of ALL negative people in my life.
It sounds like I got it all figured out don’t it? I almost convinced my own self in that last paragraph as well along with the things that I’ve accomplished. Hell..it makes me look pretty good. Now…I told no lies above…however, trust and believe…I’m still under construction. What I mean by that is, I feel like I have so much more to do in this life. I somehow beleived that by 40 years old…everything should be together in your life. You should be at a place where you’re starting to feel comfortable and more relaxed with things. I’m in a very good place, but I know there’s so much more for me to work on within myself. In 2018, once I started feeling better months after my surgery…I realized that I was given another chance and I need to make the best out of my life. I now have energy and I’m in the right mind space. I needed to get myself together to be a better person for everyone else in my life and whoever may come into my life. Every single day that I’m here, I take it as a learning and growing experience. I’ll continue to do that going forward. There’s so much to still learn and grow from. At times I may feel young, but I know that I’m really not.
My goals going forward are to conitnue to live my life to the fullest. I refuse to put up with other peoples bullshit. I don’t have the time nor the energy to argue with ANYONE about ANYTHING, ANYMORE! I want to look back in another 40 years (Lord willing I make it) and not have many regreats. At least…not as many that I had in the first 40 years of my life. Life isn’t perfect and turning 40 doesn’t make you exempt from making dumb ass decisions either. I’m glad that I’ve learned from what I’ve gone through before. I still have a ways to go and I pray a long life to live. So here’s to the last of Generation X turning 40!
