The blessing outweighs the curse…Part 1

The worse THINGS that could’ve happened to me is revisiting my popcorn addiction, my love for Starbucks and Upper Cup Coffee…but the absolute worse thing to happen was me being able to not only shop off the rack, but also to have options and of all places the clearance rack. I’m way too much of a clothes and shoe whore to be in this predicament. They warned me that after my surgery, once I recover, I will go overboard with something; it could be anything. Mine is shopping and it’s bad. And it’s not just clothing stores. It doesn’t matter if it’s the dollar store or a department store…I’m there. There’s seriously nothing like going into a store that sells “average-sized” clothing, having a ton of options, and not having to pay more for extra material. It’s a beautiful thing. To some, this may seem ridiculous. It may seem like only “first-world problems.” How are coffee and shopping a bad thing? Well…for one…money and two…sweteners. I’m just saying. To others, they may completely understand where I’m coming from. If you can’t relate, and/or don’t understand…consider yourself lucky and let me have my moment. 🙂

As I’ve mentioned plenty of times before…the best thing that could’ve ever happened to me was having bariatric surgery…period. Regardless of everything that I’ve gone through; which includes: constant nausea, dehydration, emotional changes, exhaustion, weakness, vomiting…well you get the point; and stuff that I’m still going through…I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. It was the biggest decision that I had to make up until that point and I know that I made the right one. However, with any and everything in life…there’s always ups and downs to each decision we make in life. Regardless of the negative, that has come my way, I’m good…maybe a little too good. I keep much of my struggles (because I still struggle mentally) to myself, however, I will share some personal things as well. Everything doesn’t need to be put out there. As I always mention that I’m still a complete and total mess as well a work in progress. I can proudly say that I’m not as much of a mess, but still one.

Now let’s briefly talk about some of the mess that many of us deal with after having bariatric surgery. The way people treat you can also be a gift and a curse. Some will embrace and support you while others will hate that you’re happy and succeeding. Especially if you were always “the fat friend.” Well…I guess that’s life. People will either love you or hate you, but trust and believe your feelings and emotions escalate by others actions toward you because you’re constantly going through emotional changes of your own during this process. Also, your BS detectors are activated at an all-time high capacity. Know that prior to the point that you’re at now in your life, you’ve heard it all and have seen it all. What I mean by this is the shade and hatred that came towards you due to your size. Your focus is on different things now. Most of us don’t necessarily care about what other’s may do or say to us. As I mentioned before a friend of mine told me that she refuses for me to be the “skinny friend.” Some may feel in their narcissistic minds that you had surgery to solely compete with them. At one point, you were bigger than them and now they’re bigger than you. This isn’t your fault. Don’t let shit like this derail all that you’ve accomplished.

One of the worse things you can do is to get caught up on weight stalls regardless of where you’re at in you’re post-surgery after dinner. I’ve only lost 12 pounds in a year. However, I haven’t gained so I’m good. Finding that out, just let me know that I need to get back on track which I’m doing. It’s good to listen to others, but know the difference in who’s supporting you and who’s criticizing you. Trust and believe you will get it from both sides and it can be a total mind F#@%! Weight loss surgery is definitely a huge blessing, but it can also hold plenty of curses that other’s will try and hit you with. I’m not saying that everyone you know is against you; of course not…you wouldn’t have made it this far if that was the case. And of course…it’s not just people, it’s things and your most dangerous distractor is YOU; always remember that. Continue to make smart choices for the rest of your life and not just while the weight is falling off. If you get off track, jump right back on. Get back to basics and continue to enjoy your blessing!