Why I converted to Islam

Now that my very first Ramadan is over…I’ve decided to discuss just a few of the reasons why I converted to Islam almost two years ago. I will say since converting to Islam I feel this enormous shift in my life and how this shift has made me a better person. I spoke in a previous blog about two years ago, “Allow me to re-introduce myself” about how important religion is and has always been to me. That was around the time I started my journey to Islam. As a life-long Christian, I got to the point where I was almost ashamed to associate myself with the religion. I didn’t feel accepted anymore and I felt also felt uncomfortable. Now, I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t value Christianity anymore. Of course I still have many Christian values instilled in me. How can I not? I was born and raised in the Baptist church. Throughout the years I’ve studied various versions of the Bible since I’ve known how to read. However, there were so many things that I’ve noticed over the years…especially as of recent.  Many things within the church that have personally made me feel uncomfortable and at times made me question my own faith and beliefs. That’s not a good feeling at all. One thing about me is that I’ve always been an open-minded person with other people and their ways of life. So it comes natural to me studying and exploring things outside of “my own box;” not only religion, but life period. I know some of y’all are probably saying; “Why leave an entire religion?” Well..why not? Religion and spirituality are learned traits. No one has to follow a religion at all, or even be spiritual for that matter. Some of us do choose to not only believe in, but also follow a higher power for numerous reasons. Why can’t I be happy in what and who I believe in? Why can’t I follow a God who’s no different from your’s? Another question I get asked is; “Why would you want to join a group of people who are so hated and are being attacked?” For the record…it’s a very small group of ignorant people who hate, judge and condemn Muslims. Usually the people who judge and condemn anyone and anything are the same people who hate everything that they don’t understand; because they don’t want to understand it. These are the same people who pick and choose what’s right and wrong according their benefit. But that’s a whole different discussion for a totally different day.

What turned me off from Christianity? I feel that some people use their religion and/or religious beliefs as a way to fit in, an excuse to judge people, or a way to show that they may be superior to someone else. There are more of these people who so-called ‘live by the Bible” yet…they can’t quote a single scripture from the bible except for the few they’ve heard other’s quote that usually benefit their own hypocrisy, because that’s what it is. It’s almost like the more judgmental they are…the closer they think they are to God. Sorry…it doesn’t work that way. Now…let me stress…I’m not talking about everyone; but if these words touch and agree with your spirit…then I don’t know what to tell you. When I started telling people who I was a Muslim it was Christians that would ask me if I “no longer believed in God?” See…it was questions like that from those who are so spiritually in tune that turned me off even more. I would get constant questions like I was taking my GRE again. So what do they do…turn their nose up and judge me because of their ignorance. Christianity isn’t the only religion. Sorry to break it to you, but it’s not. Now…before people get ALL IN THEIR FEELINGS…this is about a select few whom I’ve personally have had experience with and what I have seen and heard myself. I need to put that disclaimer in here again. If not…I’ll be considered the devil for judging and talking about folks…yet and still…NEVERMIND. The final straw for me was getting dirty looks based on my appearance. And this was in a church that I grew up in. I was born into this church. I have always been ME. I was there just like they were to get the word and pay my tithes. You know what…let’s move on……..

The Nation of Gods and Earths aka The Five Percenters. My discord with Christianity was nothing new. In 2003, at the age of 23; I joined the Nation of Gods and Earths also known as the Five Percenters. In short…this is a religion started by Clarence X…a man who was kicked out of the Nation of Islam for his behavior. In retaliation, he started the Nation of Gods and Earths. Even with its outlandish rules and ideas…it was also a breath of fresh air at the same time. At first I felt so empowered following The Nation. I was a young adult…very rebellious…but also confused and lost in many ways. I won’t get into how and why I joined too much because It’s a really a long story (I’ll save it for my podcast), but I will say that eventually I began to feel like being a Five Percenter was starting to feel very cult’ish. The crazy thing was I never felt comfortable talking to other Five Percenters. One thing I noticed over time was that studying and following The Nation made me a bitter and angry person. Of course, I didn’t realize it at the time but it did. With my mental state; especially during that time…that was the last thing I needed was to be angry and mad at the world. Eventually many of the teachings just didn’t sit right with me. You can tell when people are just making things up to try and make themselves more superior and to put fear into others. It became obvious what they were doing. But how are you going to tell me about things that I actually lived and knew of first hand. You can’t tell me about sexuality. You can’t tell me about mental health. You can’t tell me about being a woman. There are just some things you don’t know. And they weren’t dealing with someone who can be brainwashed and molded into fake ideals. Just picture a bunch of insecure Hotep’s to the tenth power. Yeah…that type of crazy. Once I really sat down and analyzed this group that I had associated myself with; I couldn’t believe that I really became one of them. Now I’m an extremely militant person, and I can’t help but respect they’re dedication; however…it was a little too extreme even for me. So needless to say…in 2009 I politely walked way from the Nation and never looked back. Some may ask why state for so long. Six years…especially when you’re young is a long time. Well…it wasn’t always bad. There were times that I loved going to meetings and talking with the brothers and sisters. But when people who have a totally different agenda come in…things change.

What attracted me to Islam? For years Islam and the Muslim culture had always caught my eye. I was highly intrigued and wanted to learn as much about it as I could. The first thing that I did was read the Quran. That alone opened my eyes. Then I read books and researched about the prophets who were spoken of in the Quran. I learned that there are Muslims of all races, nationalities, sexual orientations, etc; that meant so much to me. Then eventually I got the courage to visit an actual mosque and talk to an Imam…who in the Muslim faith is equivalent to a Pastor or Rabbi. I was so nervous because this was something I wanted, and didn’t want to mess this up. He welcomed me with open arms. No pre-judgement, no trying to change anything about me…nothing. Just love and acceptance. He had knowledge that I hadn’t experienced since my childhood Pastor. I can talk to him about anything. He opened his mosque to me anytime just to observe and learn more first hand about the religion and culture. He explained the five pillars of Islam to me in-depth. The one that really stood out to me was in Islam we are required to serve others, to volunteer to help those less fortunate or just in need of something. This was huge for me because the was how I was raised in the church. I felt this was something that Christianity had escaped from. A lot of people I dealt with in the church were more self-serving then about serving others. Once again…not all…just some. I have to keep stressing that. Helping others is and has always been extremely important to me. I also felt that Islam would give me another outlook on life. It would help me open my eyes to so much outside of myself; and it has. A discipline in my life that I had been missing and so desperately needed at a time when I was going through a lot. My discipline is even stronger after having a successful Ramadan. One of the biggest things that Islam has taught me is to calm down. Take my time. Nothing can be rushed. Things will happen when it’s supposed to. It’s taught me not to react in every instance. I mean…I’m still me but trust me…I’m a much more calm person. I’m more understanding to other people. It’s taught me not to involve myself in mess and to keep those who love drama and mess at a distance. It’s taught me to watch those who appear to be your friends, but aren’t. Islam has opened my eyes to so much. I’ve become more sympathetic to others and their thoughts, needs and opinions. I’m so happy with who I’ve become. Now…does that sound like a religion that promotes hate. All of the bitterness and anger that I’ve held onto for years doesn’t haunt me anymore. I don’t forget anything…I just don’t let it run me.  I don’t throw my religion in people’s face because to me, religions and your relationship with God should be something personal. However, I do love sharing what makes me get through the day and life for that matter. I love sharing knowledge and what I’m learning,.

Trust me…this is just a very small part of my journey to Islam. It’s so much more that I plan on discussing very soon. Learning and joining wasn’t this cut and dry and simplistic as I made it sound in this post. No…I don’t have a problem with Christianity. I have a problem with hypocrites…in all walks of life; not only in religion. I’m only speaking more about Christianity because that’s where I come from. I’m not shamed of where I come from, because I know what my faith is and has always been. All I can do is hope and pray that you all find peace in your life whatever path you decide to take. “All praise and thanks to Allah…Walilah Alhamd Walshukr Lilah – ولله الحمد والشكر لله.”